After the explosive awakening comes doubt. This is natural - it marks the beginning of consolidation.
You have effectively altered the root code of your mind. As neurochemistry settles, old behaviours and thought patterns begin to test themselves against this new framework. You may notice familiar impulses re-emerging, only to find that many no longer connect or make sense. Each time an outdated pattern fails to attach, it weakens and fades.
Some habits dissolve quickly - anger, defensiveness, certain fears - while others, such as productivity or control, may persist and test themselves repeatedly. This is how the old architecture dismantles itself. Yet as it happens, doubt often arises. You may question whether the awakening was real, or whether you imagined the clarity that seemed unquestionable only weeks before.
Neurochemically, this corresponds to a rebound phase. During the awakening, dopamine, serotonin, and related systems operated at highly elevated levels to sustain the reorganisation of perception. As they return to equilibrium, a temporary flattening or fatigue sets in. The system is tired. Energy, mood, and clarity can fluctuate for a time - up one day, down the next - like a pendulum gradually coming to rest.
Think of it as recalibration. The psyche tests the new operating system against legacy programs. Most no longer fit. This produces alternating experiences of clarity and confusion, confidence and doubt. Over several cycles - typically three or four of decreasing amplitude - stability returns.
Perceptually, this can be disorienting. You might swing between feeling that the entire universe resides within you and feeling like an ordinary person who’s lost the plot. Both extremes are temporary. The balance point lies between them.
Psychiatrically, this phase could resemble a mild depression, but functionally it is the brain’s recovery from an intense period of neuroplastic change. Historical and contemporary reports of enlightenment consistently mention a post-illumination low, often appearing weeks or months after the peak. The key word is transience. The brilliance of the clarity phase fades, but what remains is quieter and more integrated.
The duration depends on the intensity of the awakening. Even in severe cases it usually resolves within a few months. Importantly, the suffering that preceded the awakening does not return; what remains is only questioning - “was it real?”
During this phase, memories may seem distant or briefly inaccessible. They tend to return without the emotional charge that once accompanied them. Many people find that when memories do resurface, they are suffused with a new sense of ease or affection.
Your earlier life may begin to feel like a half-remembered dream. That is expected: you are perceiving through a newly configured system. Both your pre-awakening and post-awakening experiences were real - they are simply filtered through different perceptual lenses. You have changed red glasses for green glasses.
In summary: this phase is the mind’s integration process. The turbulence is not regression but stabilisation. Give it time, maintain ordinary routines, stay grounded in simple actions—walking, cooking, work, conversation. Eventually, the oscillation ceases, and a new, steadier baseline becomes home.
Practicalities:
Avoid alcohol, caffeine and drugs
Walk, cook, eat and do other grounding activities
Prioritise rest and recovery; the work is done
Review your previous writings or art. Do not destroy them on impulse; use them to refine and reinforce your new worldview
Avoid drastic life decisions
Cross-tradition Parallels
Buddhist: The bhanga ñāṇa (dissolution) and dukkha ñāṇas (insight knowledges of suffering) that follow illumination. Old mental patterns collapse; doubt and disillusion test stability before equanimity emerges.
Hindu / Advaita: The stage of vasana kshaya - exhaustion of latent tendencies. The aspirant oscillates between dullness and renewed clarity as conditioning burns away and realisation integrates.
Christian mysticism: The dark night of the soul. After illumination, divine presence seems withdrawn, forcing faith to root itself beyond emotion or certainty.
Sufi: The cooling after fana, known as baqa - returning to life within ordinary form. The ecstatic union subsides into steady subsistence in God.
Daoist / Zen: After kenshō, the “return to the marketplace.” Clarity alternates with confusion; practice now polishes perception through daily life.
Jungian: Corresponds to deflation and integration following inflation. The psyche compensates for excess expansion, producing humility, doubt, or depression as the ego and Self establish a stable relationship. This enantiodromic swing completes the cycle toward individuation - a balanced, grounded embodiment of the earlier insight.